just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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