Plan B is the new Plan A
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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