So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
