Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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