it's too hot outside to masturbate.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
