Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
