I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
