Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I didn't shave. On purpose
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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