Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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