I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
