hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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