Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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