even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize