Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
