I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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