i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
