I bet he comes in French.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
