I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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