its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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