Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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