Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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