haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
