Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
