Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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