Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
