i would punch a child for taco bell
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
