you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
We talked him into tasing himself.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
