Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
The air was thick with penises
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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