I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
