Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
So much rum. So many feels.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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