so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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