Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize