there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
