Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
