Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
