Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
