return my video game
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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