is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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