Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize