yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
