News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
The adults are the big ones right?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize