So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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