sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
