Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
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