just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Is Oprah even human
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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