just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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