yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
