Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
