Got a toothbrush?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
