Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize