I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
it glows. i had to have it.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize