i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
