I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
