white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
