$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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