he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
