I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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