Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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